desiree

mommypackmylunch.com

The first week of justin.tv/ijustine June 4, 2007

Filed under: justin.tv — dezzychick @ 5:51 pm

I have had a few requests to blog about how the justin.tv cam is affecting my life. I will start of by saying- This all happened so fast! I didn’t expect to come home from my trip to VA Beach to see the justin camera running. I work, live, and hang out every day with Justine so it was either I find somewhere else to live, a new best friend , and job -or just be a good sport in all this. πŸ™‚

At first I think I hated it. haha! Just being honest here. I didn’t like the fact of putting our lives out there. The first couple days I felt sick to my stomach just knowing that camera was following me around. I didn’t mind the camera as much as I did knowing there was a live chat full of people casting their judgments and opinions of what we were doing/saying at all times. I was fearful that my life would lose a lot of its depth. I don’t want to have deep conversations with friends on camera, or make people I care about feel like I am exploiting their lives to hundreds of people. In feeling that way I am afraid I will avoid deep conversation and times where people may feel vulnerable to avoid showing them on the camera. I don’t want that to happen. That is what I am glad I am not wearing the camera :), nor would I ever agree to do so.

It is easy to sit in the chat room and read all the things people are saying about us. Some people are so supportive and other pretty much hate us.This is why sometimes I need to limit my time in there. I let it bother me a lot at first. I would worry about everything I was doing, how I was dressed – Hoping someone wouldn’t comment on things that were hurtful like my weight or the way I looked. The fact is …people are going to say those things, and because I am out there for the public to see there is no way around it. People will always find flaws, point them out and try to make you feel like you are worthless. It’s easy to do that when you are sitting at home on your computer and have no one to answer to, or don’t know anything about the person you are insulting. That is why I can’t take these things to heart or it will destroy me. I really enjoy the chat when people are being kind and aren’t being perverted. I could probably sit there all day and talk to these people, I like to get to know them and for them to see that we are real.

My hope in all this is, it does not change who I am, my morals or how much I believe in myself. Actually that is not an option πŸ™‚ I hope this makes me stronger. I will update this and just be real and honest about how I am feeling. Hopefully this will give you all an inside look at what it’s like to lifecast.

Thanks for reading!
Dezzy

Advertisements
 

26 Responses to “The first week of justin.tv/ijustine”

  1. Tony Says:

    Rock on Desiree πŸ™‚

  2. Londonmike Says:

    Excellent post. I look forward to reading many more. So don’t go lazy on us. Keep on writing.

  3. dezzychick Says:

    πŸ™‚ well i have a lot to write about now! so ill try my best.

  4. phprock Says:

    yeah dezz! stay strong!

  5. Brent Says:

    Dez,

    Excellent post! I love your honesty! Wish more people were so true…

    Keep it up!

    Brent

  6. Annie Says:

    This may seem like a really weird question, but I always wondered what you guys do when you go into places that have a “no filming” policy. Like, I know some stores won’t even let you take photos. What do you guys do when you run into such a situation? Just leave?

    Dez, I’ve been following you two for a couple months now (before all this justin.tv stuff) and I think you’re such a sweet girl. Don’t let stupid, anonymous internet jerks get you down. πŸ™‚

  7. cw Says:

    omg dezzy. i KNOW what you mean. it’s why i was hiding that one time too. sad face.

    i think that it really shows you the difference between the normal people that actually interact with people in person and weirdos that go into chat rooms tho. i mean you and justine are friggin brilliant and anyone with half a brain knows that.

    i can’t wait to see you two in hawaii! you’re gonna love it. i’m just gonna wait to make sure it works out here. justin is coming in a few weeks.

    aloha ..cw

  8. mcpaige Says:

    Hey Dez ! You’re awesome ! Forget those losers talk’n crap!

    -Later

  9. John Says:

    Hi Dez,

    I’ve been following you and Justine through your Video Blogs, for a couple of months now. What a really great post. I hope you manage it fine. I checked out some of the ijustine.tv stuff and I think that the chat-room is by far the worst thing about it. Both of you just stay strong and keep yourselves as you are.

    John

  10. djsteen Says:

    Brent pretty much summed up what I was going to say;

    I love the honesty! There needs to me more of that – not just online, but face to face too.

    Take care πŸ™‚

  11. John Says:

    Dezzy!

    We all love you! πŸ™‚

  12. karlbright Says:

    Great post and just like the others i love the honesty being shown. I am sure it is a great experience to be part of the lifecasting scene, its frightening,interesting and challenging all at the same time. I think you and Justine have done a great job handling some of the weird comments being thrown around in the chat. I think by the end of it(whenever that is) you will definitely be a stronger person and that can’t be a bad thing.

    I think from a viewer point of view its been great getitng to know all the people in the chatroom, have met some great people and it’s a lot of fun. I had seen a load of mommypackmylunch videos and read tastyblogsnacks before the lifecast had begun and because of that i had a bit of an idea of what you two were like. I mean, you two seemed very outgoing and having a lot of fun and doing crazy things and its good to see how it all works in the lifecast. I wish i could think of someway to structure that better πŸ˜›

    I am finding myself rambling just so i can keep myself from doing work, i should stop. Good luck and have fun (ie. throw the water balloon at the guy mowing the lawn outside your window)

  13. Jared Says:

    Screw the haters Dez! It doesn’t take a lot of courage to sign in to a website and start bad mouthing people. They can hide behind their anonymity and say whatever they want. Remember that you know who you are and they don’t.

    Whew. That said, I’m absolutely fascinated by this whole lifecasting concept and I can’t stop watching it. I find myself thinking “Wonder what Justine and Dez are up to?” I hope you chose to continue even though you don’t feel comfortable all the time. At least you can step off camera if you need some space.

  14. garrison Says:

    Great post. I’m sure many viewers can understand what you feel about all of this!

  15. Rob Says:

    Your doing great Dez!! Don’t let all the bad people get to you cause anyone that doesn’t like you, doesn’t really know you!

  16. Colin Devroe Says:

    Hang in there, you’re doing a great job, and Justine needs you.

  17. Mickie Says:

    So right Dez!! Imom is trying to deal with this too. TRYING to make the MORONS
    see that life and fun is not all about sex, drinking, and drugs – may be your mission!
    Keep trying to get that message out and maybe save a few!

  18. Neal Says:

    Thanks for writing a good blog about your on-camera life! I have a million questions for both of you and you answer 32 of them.

  19. usrbingeek Says:

    Dezzy, I feel for you. It’s easy for people to tell you to just ignore the jerks that make the rude comments in the chat or on web sites. That’s very hard for anyone to actually do, and it is normal for it to affect you.

    But realize that the people making any rude comments to you are only doing it because they’re trying to cover their own insecurities about themselves and what their own lives lack. Normal people wouldn’t say such things about you or anyone else. The individuals that do, typically have deep psychological problems. I’m not defending them (they don’t deserve any defense) but keep in perspective who they are and where their criticism is coming from and shouldn’t hurt you as much when they say nasty things.

    Stay strong!
    usrbingeek @ WyldRyde IRC Network

  20. bj boehm Says:

    I for one luv u! keep doin what your doing. u and justine make lovely companions…lol like the “the doctor” and his “companion” ha…well…you guys don’t timetravel in a phone booth….so…

  21. XxaviorR Says:

    Hey Dez,

    Great post! It really puts a lot of things in perspective. I’m sure that a lot of people think that it would be great to be a part of something like this but don’t really understand what it truly is like.

    As for the people that go onto the Justin.tv site a trash you guys or other people that are on there just to interact and have a good time, I don’t get it. They obviously are the ones with the problems considering they have nothing better to do with their lives than spend hours on a web site and trash people. Don’t worry about the negativity that people want to project on you. You are the real deal… the genuine article… forget about the “haters”. From what I’ve seen/read you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and have nothing to worry about.

    Ok… I’ll end this before it turns into some cheesy 80s after school special with Kirk Cameron πŸ˜‰

    All the best to you and Justine with this craziness.

  22. drew olanoff Says:

    you have no idea how proud i am of you guys.

    this isn’t easy. i know it is isn’t easy. you’re managing like a pro though so keep it up. you’ve already figured out all of the keys to keep it fun.

    find time for you though, ok?

    _drew

  23. Noel Says:

    Desiree, I’m a huge fan of you and Justine since Mommy, Pack My Lunch. You guys have brought so much to the tech community and I couldn’t imagine without you guys doing what you do. As for you Desiree, don’t worry about those “kinds” of people. They are just jeaulous, ignorant, and self-centered because deep down they know they wanna be doing what you guys do. Don’t let anyone change who you are. You are beautiful and you have so much potential. So keep going strong, Desiree!! I, as well as many others support you and Justine all the way. πŸ™‚

  24. michael Says:

    dude… your weight is just about right.

  25. Max Says:

    I think if we lived in a different world, broadcasting your life on the Internet would really be a different experience. But in this one, I’d never do it, personally. πŸ™‚

    I have my webcam up from time to time, and it’s a lot of fun to use and to watch other people’s webcams who I’m actually talking to, and it *is* sometimes fun to watch the webcams of people who I’m *not* talking to, just because of the curiosity factor and the “webcams are cool” technological factor.

    But I don’t know that I’d want to broadcast my life all the time to everybody. πŸ™‚ I think there are some parts that other people would find really interesting–some of the conversations I have with people. But like you say, if I was on webcam, would I even be able to have those conversations? Would there be any depth to my life at all, if I was conscious that random, possibly-unpleasant strangers were watching?

    If my goal was just to attract a lot of attention, regardless of what *kind* of attention it was, I’d do it. But if my only and primary goal in life was to attract attention without the goal of giving attention to others (and helping them in some way), I’d wonder if I was completely mentally stable. πŸ™‚

    -Max

  26. This can be a I love examples of the articles which have been written, and especially the comments posted! I will come back!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s